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Plot: fallen Bishop Niklas, the patron of children, returns as the ravenous undead

Sint is a lot of things. It was the event horror movie of 2010. It generated some controversy (manufactured or otherwise) due to its choice of subject matter and it pulled writer/producer/director Dick Maas firmly into the limelight. Sint is very much a nostalgic trip to the far-flung 1980s. It’s certainly bloody enough and to see a beloved folkloric figure as the Sint reimagined as one of the murderous undead is at least interesting from a cultural perspective for anyone living in Belgium or the Netherlands. Is it Maas’ great new classic? Not exactly. Sint is a tad too lukewarm and underwritten for that and the striking visuals alone cannot redeem so much of where the writing falters. Certainly Maas has an eye for beautiful women and the man who gave the world Tatjana Šimić does not fail on that front. On all other fronts Sint is an enjoyable enough horror romp that could’ve been far more than what it ended up being. At the very least it scores points for originality, though.

Sinterklaas is a figure unknown to much of the English-speaking world. The folkloric figure of Sinterklaas, or simply Sint, is based on the historical figure of Saint Nicholas, the Greek bishop of Myra, in Asia Minor (present-day Turkey), who had a reputation of being a generous benefactor to the poor and the forgotten, of gift-giving to children of all ages and performing the occassional miracle. Sinterklaas is typically depicted as a benevolent elderly, stately man with white hair and a long, full beard. He wears a long red cape, or chasuble, over a white bishop's alb and sometimes red stola, a red mitre and a ruby ring. Traditionally he comes brandishing a gold-coloured crosier and a long ceremonial shepherd's staff with a curled and ornately designed top. Sinterklaas is custodian to a big, red book in which is written whether each child had been well-behaved that year. Sinterklaas comes in the company of several Zwarte Pieten (Black Petes), his trusty black helpers in colourful Moorish dresses with ruff collars and feathered caps. Black Pete carries around a bag full of candy, the contents of which are tossed to children awaiting the Sint's arrival on his steed Amerigo (or Bad Weather Today).

Traditions surrounding Sinterklaas differ in Belgium and the Netherlands. The gifts are given on St. Nicholas' Eve (5 December) in the Netherlands and on the feast of Sinterklaas on 6 December in Belgium, Luxembourg and Northern regions of France (French Flanders, Lorraine and Artois). The model of Saint-Nicholas later evolved into that of Santa Claus when Dutch settlers established New Amsterdam at the southern tip of Manhattan Island in the 17th century and brought their traditions with them. New Amsterdam later was rechristened New York on September 8, 1664 just before the Second Anglo-Dutch War. Understandably Sint is often mistaken for a Christmas-themed horror movie (the international English title Saint Nick doesn’t particularly help) in the Anglo-Saxon world due to cultural differences. Note how Sinterklaas and Santa Claus sound nearly identical phonetically. Suffice to say Santa Claus has spawned its own set of Christmas-themed horror movies with the likes of Black Christmas (1974), Don't Open Till Christmas (1984), Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984), and Home Alone (1990).

On the eve of 5 December 1492 fallen bishop Niklas (Huub Stapel) and his cohorts enter a small Dutch peasant hamlet where the villagers instantly flee locking doors and windows. Once Niklas and his minions have taken refuge in their galleon in the harbor a small band of brave villagers brandishing pitchforks and torches incinerate Niklas and his entourage in an awesome inferno by throwing molotov cocktails into the stationary ship. With his dying breath and consumed by the flames the Sint curses the farming hamlet swearing that he’ll have his revenge. On the eve of 5 December 1968 a young farmboy by the name of Goert Hoekstra (Niels van den Berg) is witness to his family being bloodily murdered by an old man on a white horse who suspiciously looks like the patron of children everywhere, the Sint.

Sint then cuts to 5 December 2010 where in an unspecified Amsterdam high school dullard Frank (Egbert Jan Weeber, as Egbert-Jan Weeber) is the butt of a particularly cruel joke on part of his ex-girlfriend Sophie (Escha Tanihatu) during class festivities. As it turns out Frank is far from innocent as he had been seeing Lisa (Caro Lenssen) on the side for a while when he was still dating Sophie. With no immediate and exciting plans for St. Nicholas' Eve he and his friends take up a job of playing Sint for local needy children. Around the same time a now middle-aged Goert Hoekstra (Bert Luppes), a law enforcement officer prone to depression and especially stressed this time of year, is called into the office of the chief (Jaap Spijkers) after having handed in an extensive report on what he believes to be not a regular St. Nicholas' Eve. His chief finds his report, obviously the product of years of extensive research on the myth of the Sint, to be a wee bit extravagant. His chief orders him to take a month’s long vacation until the festivities blow over. Hoekstra, sufficiently pissed after being called a superstitious fool, storms out not much later.

That night something does happen. Frank and his buddies, experiencing trouble with their vehicle’s GPS, soon find themselves in the middle of nowhere. Frank is barely able to escape the clutches of the murderous undead when the Sint and his zombified Black Petes claim his friends as their victims. As the bodies start to pile up and emergency calls flood the station the chief calls in Van Dijk (Ben Ramakers) and orders him to track down Hoekstra and to deploy whatever force necessary to counter the sudden influx of violent crime and the apparent homicidal epidemic that has consumed much of the city. Hoekstra and Frank eventually do make their acquaintance and the elderly police officer, now having sustained mortal wounds in a skirmish with the undead, tells the youth how to defeat the Sint. With nowhere to go and no one turn to cowardly Frank is left alone to face off against the unholy Sint and his demonic Black Petes. In a vain effort to control the situation the police and the mayor (René van Asten) agree to martyr Hoekstra for the good cause by attributing the murders to him and his tenuous grasp on his sanity. In the hospital Frank, believing the nightmare to be finally over, is greeted by Lisa who has read all about his St. Nicholas' Eve heroics in the morning newspaper.

The man behind Sint is the prolific Dick Maas, a veritable institution in the Dutch cinematic landscape and a pillar in the Nederhorror scene. As a writer, producer and director Maas was responsible for Dutch horror sub-classics Amsterdamned (1988) and The Lift (1983) as well as the rowdy Flodder comedy franchise (1986-1995) (as well as the series derived from it) and the well-intended drama My Blue Heaven (1994). Maas helmed the concert video Live From the Twilight Zone (1984) from the Golden Earring, one of the country’s longest running classic rock bands. The Dutch horror scene spawned a few classics next to Maas’ The Lift (1983) and Amsterdamned (1988) with the slasher Intensive Care (1991) and the highly atmospheric The Johnsons (1995). The neighbouring Belgium, whose tradition in horror is even smaller, contributed Daughters Of Darkness (1971), The Devil’s Nightmare (1971) and Rabid Grannies (1988). Is Sint Maas’ best work? That’s debatable. It’s a bit too underwritten for that – and for an 80s nostalgia trip it’s surprisingly prude. At least it uses practical effects more than the reviled CGI.

No Dutch production is complete without the usual Belgian talent and Sint has Barbara Sarafian and Lien Van de Kelder on lend from across the border. Since this is a Dick Maas production and he’s as much a philistine as Jing Wong or a certain Spanish director which shall not be named Sint has no shortage of beautiful women. In this case Caro Lenssen, Escha Tanihatu, and Madelief Blanken with Belgian belle Lien Van de Kelder in a cameo part. As much as Sint positions itself as a callback to 80s horror it’s completely free of any skin. Neither Caro Lenssen, Escha Tanihatu, Madelief Blanken, or Lien Van de Kelder will be taking their tops (or any other article of clothing) off – and that’s a waste of talent if there ever was one. Tanihatu is killed off prematurely despite her babysitting chores gave her ample opportunity to show skin. Blanken pretty much disappears after the introductory school segment, supposedly never to be seen again. Weeber, Lenssen, Tanihatu, and Blanken are the oldest high school students too. It’s something you’d expect of a Gloria Guida commedia sexy all’Italiana – but not here of all places.

Lien Van de Kelder, famous for her ample curvature and a well-regarded regular in Dutch police procedurals, has a miniscule cameo as nurse Merel but she’s offed mere moments after her character is introduced. At least her character was given the dignity of a name. Would it have hurt to at least have Lien changing clothes or stepping into a shower for a scene? In fact the entire hospital segment, brief as it is, proves that Intensive Care (1991) could’ve actually been good had it been produced, written and/or directed by Dick Maas. To say that Van de Kelder is underutilized is putting it very mildly. Lenssen does eventually take her top off but does so respectably with her back to the camera in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene at the very end. Dutch horror enthusiast Jan Doense cameos as a reporter. What’s the purpose of casting four beautiful women and not having them take their clothes off at least once? Lesser directors wouldn’t have hesitated for a second. Blood splatters, extremities are severed and one-liners are abound, but there isn’t a naked breast or derrière to be seen anywhere. For shame, mister Maas, for shame.

The writing could, and perhaps should, have been better. Sint is littered with one-note characters that seldom venture beyond their designated archetypes. There isn’t a single likeable character within sight. Frank is a dense, clumsy doofus but that doesn’t make him any less of an asshole. All three girls come across as superficial, egocentric ditzes with not the least bit interest in the world around them. The romance between Lisa and Frank is not only improbable but frequently unfathomable. By the time Goert Hoekstra is reintroduced as a middle-aged man he’s reduced to a babbling madman. His chief, Johan, doesn’t fare much better. Here’s a chief that has known about about the threat of St. Nicholas' Eve for about 4 decades, but chooses to sit on his hands. Hoekstra is brushed off as a superstitious fool and it isn’t until early in the third act that the chief comes around and actually takes Hoekstra’s report seriously, but by then the situation has escalated and it’s too late (mostly for reasons having to do with third act dramatic tension). Together with the mayor he decided to sweep the rampage under rug by blaming Goert Hoekstra, the one who warned him well enough in advance, for the carnage. It’s the kind of writing you’d expect of a novice, not of an experienced veteran as Maas.

Sint is a lot of things. It’s far bloodier than you’d reasonably expect it to be. It’s comedic in parts and completely straight in others. It has witty quips and one-liners but can get surprisingly oppressive when it sets its mind to it. It transforms a beloved figure of folklore into a ravening member of the undead. It’s partly a slasher and partly a zombie movie. It has four of the most beautiful Dutch and Belgian women and has them keeping their clothes on. Sint wants to be the horror movie for people who don’t know or like horror. There’s a strange duality to Sint that both helps and hinders it depending on the part. It has no ambitions beyond being a good popcorn flick and it delivers in spades. While there was an open ending in case it was successful enough, it thankfully never spawned a sequel.

Plot: wealthy socialite meets a shy young man who looks exactly like her boyfriend

Before Koi… Mil Gaya (2003) revolutionized the way films were made in Bollywood, there was the box office smash Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai (or Say That You Love Me). Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai was the big screen debut of Hritik Roshan, the Hindi superstar-in-waiting whose dashing good looks, sculptured physique and mad dancing skills would shoot him into the hearts and loins of women of all ages. Kaho Naa…Pyaar Hai amassed a record 102 awards at every award ceremony in the country, grossed 3.6 billion worldwide and made stars out of Hritik Roshan and Ameesha Patel. Not bad for a rom-com with a rather perfunctory plot and a selection of decidedly average songs that were catchy but had not much in the way of hooks. More importantly though is that Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai set the stage for the sweet family masala Koi… Mil Gaya (2003) and the future Krrish franchise. Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai was so lucrative that an attempt on the life of director Rakesh Roshan was made just a week after the movie’s release. He was shot several times just outside his office on Tilak Road, Santacruz in Mumbai by two hitmen from extortionist and Indian Mafia don Ali Budesh before whom he refused to bow.

By the time actor, producer and writer Rakesh Roshan came to direct Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai he had plenty of experience as an actor and had helmed a whopping 8 features (going as far back as 1987) all starting with the letter K. Roshan is often (and not without reason) accused of pilfering western properties for storylines and characters from Koi… Mil Gaya (2003) onwards, Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai on the other hand does the exact opposite. The plot recombines plotpoints from Khudgarz (1987), Khoon Bhari Maang (1988) and Koyla (1997) into a fun, if not exactly riveting, little romp that gets by more on its inherent sweetness than its actualy storytelling. Roshan originally envisioned to helm the production on the Fiji Islands but when the necessary permits couldn’t be secured New Zealand was chosen instead. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Kareena Kapoor were initially offered the role of Sonia. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan politely declined the part for reasons unknown. Kareena - the granddaughter of Raj Kapoor, daughter of Randhir Kapoor & Babita and sister of Bollywood superstar Karisma Kapoor – was forced to pull out just days into shooting after her mother got into a heated argument with director Roshan. Eventually Roshan decided on Ameesha Patel. For western audiences Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai will probably look like an Elvis Presley musical comedy and a Frankie Avalon-John Ashley beach party movie from the sixties combined with a truncated The Blue Lagoon (1980) vignette for good measure. Hritik Roshan and Ameesha Patel are a joy to behold, but there is nary any chemistry to speak of between the two. Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai is a romantic desi masala for the entire family that even western audiences might find appealing. It’s not quite on the level of Roshan’s later productions, but it works well enough for what it is.

Rohit Chopra (Hritik Roshan) is a good-natured young man from humble beginnings. He slaves away at his car salesman job during the day and fills his nights with playing guitar and singing his heart out. One day sells a vehicle to wealthy entrepreneur Saxena (Anupam Kher) who is involved in some shady business. At a traffic light Rohit makes his acquaintance with Sonia (Ameesha Patel, as Amisha Patel), the daughter of Saxena, and the two are instantly smitten with each other. The two meet each other again on a cruise ship bound for Singapore where Rohit impresses everyone with his singing. Through no choice of their own Sonia and Rohit are separated from the cruise and end up on a deserted island. The two decide to make the best of the situation until they are taken back to civilization. Once back in the world Sonia and her friends assist Rohit in cutting a cassette demo and help him kickstart his career in every way they can. When his career takes off and he’s able to make a living from his singing he and Sonia are to be married. On the eve of a performance set to launch his career, Rohit is witness to Shakti Malik (Dalip Tahil) and Atu Malik (Rajesh Tandon) murdering a law enforcement official investigating Saxena’s illicit businesses. Saxena’s goons find Rohit and drown him for his trouble. Saxena covers the murder up as an unfortunate accident. When the news reaches Sonia she's naturally shaken by the news. To keep his daughter from feeling maudlin and depressed Saxena sends her to live with her cousins in New Zealand. In New Zealand Sonia meets the bespectacled, well-dressed Raj (Hritik Roshan) who looks exactly the deceased Rohit. As you’d expect Sonia and Raj fall in love and together they decide to find the culprit responsible for murdering Rohit…

That Hritik Roshan was destined for superstardom was clear from his debut performance (in a double role, no less) here. Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai is a valentine to his every move, his every glance and an extended preamble to showcase his dancing skills. In quite a few ways Roshan (the elder as much as the younger) lays the groundwork for the 2003 box office smash that would establish them both. In Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai Roshan the younger for the first time portrayed a sculptured, good-natured working class guy as well as his bespectacled, more reserved and introverted counterpart. Ameesha Patel combines the regal posture of Mia Sara in her prime with the doe-eyed innocence of a young Shiri Appleby but is in the habit of hamming it up every once in a while. Granted, her grand declaration of love ‘Janeman Janeman’ (‘Sweetheart’) is adorable in every way even though her dancing tends to be a bit stiff. Patel does look quite fetching in her blue veils in the love song ‘Na Tum Jano Na Hum’ (‘No, You Know, Us’) and ‘Pyar Ki Kashti Mein’ (‘On the Ship of Love’) introduces the well-known melody that Koi… Mil Gaya (2003) would use for Jadoo and that Krrish would later inherit. The soulful Lucky Ali r&b club banger ‘Ek Pal Ka Jeena’ (‘There’s Only A Moment To Life’) could have easily charted in the US and Europe had it been given an English make-over. In retrospect most of it, the romantic entanglements especially so, feel like a dress rehearsal for the later and overall superior feel-good masala Koi… Mil Gaya (2003).

Hritik Roshan playing a double role and characters named Rohit, Raj, Sonia, and Saxena all would make their return in future Rakesh Rohan productions. A lot of it feels like a test-run for something more ambitious and grander in scope. At the heart of most Bollywood productions is a romance and in case of Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai that was its entire raison d'être. Compared to the on-screen romance between Hritik Roshan and Preity Zinta in Koi… Mil Gaya (2003) and Priyanka Chopra in Krrish (2006) the courtship and eventual union with Ameesha Patel is fairly uneventful outside of the uncharted island segment. Ameesha Patel is adorable as many Hindi women in these productions tend to be but she isn’t a great actress by any metric of choice. Her presence is illuminating certainly, but it’s not as if she’s setting the screen alight quite in the same way Preity Zinta and Priyanka Chopra would years later. It’s not even for a lack of trying on Patel’s part either. The love scenes are good for what they are but there’s never quite any sparks or electricity between both leads. The action sequences are serviceable enough but tend to stick out for all the wrong reasons. Sonia’s friend Neeta (played by Tanaaz Currim Irani) obviously was the basis for Honey (played by Manini M. Mishra) in Krrish (2006). In fact most of everything retroactively served as a model for things that turned up later in Koi… Mil Gaya (2003) and the ongoing Krrish franchise. It’s hardly the worst complaint to level against the movie.

Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai was in the unfortunate position of being retroactively eclipsed by the two box office smash hits that followed it. Not that that in any way diminishes the overall effectiveness of this little rom-com. This is the sort of injection that many Western rom-coms would benefit tremendously from. Ameesha Patel is cute as a dish and Hritik Roshan is a lead man with talent to spare. Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai is a standard romantic comedy enlivened by its selection of some halfway decent (and a few surprisingly really good) songs. Compared to later Roshan productions Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai is much smaller in scale and scope. It is a fun little movie sure to elate the spirit with its kind-hearted nature and stubborn belief that love indeed does conquer all. In Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai Roshan the elder’s quirkier tendencies are reined in and it's fairly conventional as such. Talks of a sequel have been making the rounds for years, but nothing substantial has come from it thus far. Anybody interested to see where one of India’s best-paid actors was launched needs to look no further.