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Category: Piero Umiliani

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Plot: mysterious femme fatale plots to take over the world. Debonair playboy intervenes.

Leave it to the Italians to produce a spoof of a spoof. Argoman, the Fantastic Superman spoofs the Superargo movies with Giovanni Cianfriglia, themselves sendups of the more popular Eurospy exercises of the day. In Italy it was released as Come rubare la corona d'Inghilterra (or How to Steal the Crown of England) and there it was subject of a nifty promotion campaign that passed it off as a traditional Eurospy adventure romp while promotion at a later date focused on the superhero and fantastical aspect. Argoman takes a lot after the peplum Revolt Of the Praetorians (1964) and the spaghetti western The Colt Is My Law (1965), both from master hack Alfonso Brescia, wherein a debonair character doubles as a masked avenger. There was a time and place for Argoman, the Fantastic Superman and that was in the late sixties. It is the sort of production that has to seen to be believed. It’s exactly as crazy as it looks – and it never makes any qualms about what it is. Fun is first and only objective that Argoman, the Fantastic Superman sets for itself and it succeeds with flying colors even when it falters in other aspects. At heart Argoman, the Fantastic Superman is a children’s movie but one clearly meant for more grown-up, adolescent audience. This is pure male wish fulfillment.

Like many of his contemporaries director Sergio Grieco was a journeyman who dabbled in every popular genre under the sun. Be it adventure, swashbuckler and sword and sandal epics to Eurospy and poliziottesco. In the mid-sixties Grieco directed a string of Eurospy romps with Agent 077 Mission Bloody Mary (1965), Agent 077 Operation Istanbul (1965) and Password: Kill Agent Gordon (1966). These led him directly into Argoman, the Fantastic Superman, a semi-comedic curiosity that crossed the Eurospy with the fumetti. In the 1970s Grieco would direct The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine (1974) and write the screenplay for action specialist Enzo G. Castellari’s World War II epic The Inglorious Bastards (1978), famously remade by Quentin Tarantino in 2009 with a slightly altered title. Before there was Supersonic Man (1979), before Infra Man (1975) – there was Argoman, the Fantastic Superman (just Argoman hereafter).

The fumetti were Italian comic books for adult audiences and are generally considered the precursor to today’s graphic novels. In the late sixties and early seventies they served as the basis for a number of masked superhero productions. The fumetti craze led to memorable productions as Kriminal (1966), Barbarella (1968) with Jane Fonda, Diabolik (1968), Satanik (1968) and Sadistik (1968) (originally named Killing in Italy, but popularly known under its French name). Another prime example of the fumetti was the The Three Supermen (1967-1970) franchise. Argoman had the good fortune to capitalize on both the fumetti and the Eurospy craze in the wake of the early Bond movies with Sean Connery becoming a worldwide phenomenon. That it was released the same year as The Million Eyes Of Sumuru (1967) and pushed a similar message of women’s liberation and feminist empowerment is just another happy coincidence. That it is certifiably insane by any metric you choose to employ helps in no small part too.

When the Royal Crown of England is stolen in broad daylight from the Tower of London inspector Lawrence (Nino Dal Fabbro, as Richard Peters) from Scotland Yard is left to investigate a case he can’t possibly crack. He calls upon suave English playboy Sir Reginald Hoover (Roger Browne), a gentleman-criminal of considerable repute who lives in a opulent French villa on a remote island, to help locate a prime suspect in the case. In his palatial abode Hoover senses the presence of Regina Sullivan (Dominique Boschero) and guides her to her coastal bachelor pad through telekinesis. Hoover challenges Sullivan to target shooting contest. If she wins she’ll get a brand new Rolls-Royce and a box of precious stones. If he wins, he’ll get her for the remainder of the day. After consummating his relationship with Sullivan, Hoover confides in his turbaned butler Chandra (Eduardo Fajardo, as Edoardo Fajardo) that he loses his ESP abilities for 6 hours after each sexual encounter. Meanwhile the real thief of the Royal Crown, criminal mastermind Jenabell declares herself ‘the Queen of the World’ (Barbarella wouldn’t claim the title of Queen Of the Galaxy until a year later) and her henchmen led by her trusty enforcer Kurt (Mimmo Palmara, as Dick Palmer) returns the Crown of St. Edward to its rightful owner with the promise of a demonstration of her real power.

Said power comes from a prized diamond ("Muradoff A IV" is its technical designation) and with the diamond, through the sun’s energy, Jenabell and her legion of automatons (a slave race of humanoid robots) is able to dissolve steel and thus the French currency is under threat of devaluation. The second part of her scheme involves robbing the Bank of France with an army of her leatherclad henchmen in tow and littering the streets of Paris with francs and banknotes as a distraction. The crime leaves inspector Martini (Edoardo Toniolo, as Edward Douglas) puzzled. Hoover uses his glamorous girlfriend Samantha (Nadia Marlowa) to distract Jenabell’s forces and changes into Argoman as he takes on her goons. Argoman possesses sonar, telekinetic and magnetic powers of unknown origin that make him practically invincible – and his only known weakness seems to be beautiful women. Argoman allows himself to be abducted to Jenabell’s fabulous art-deco subterranean lair. Jenabell gives him the choice to either be her consort or her slave. After briefly being distracted by Jenabell’s constant costume changes (the attire includes a black widow, a snake bikini, a queen from outer space and a tinfoil fright wig) Argoman decides to save Samantha, who as per third act convention has been kidnapped, from the advances of a behemoth metallic robot and safeguard the world from Jenabell’s dominion of terror. The Queen of the World seeks to replace all men of power with identical clones doing her bidding. Fighting off goons and clones alike Argoman is able to stop Jenabell from escaping by destroying her plane.

To its credit at least Argoman realizes how silly it is. The costume alone makes Juan Piquer Simón’s Supersonic Man (1979) look as a paragon of good taste and restraint in comparison. The Argoman costume consists of a yellow body stocking, black mask with a red psychedelic spiral on it, a red cape with red velvet lining and flashlight visor eyes. In other words, Argoman looks suspiciously like a candy-colored, psychotronic version of Gort from the Robert Wise science-fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951). True to his European standards Argoman is the designated nominal hero of the piece but that doesn’t stop him from killing without scruples, compulsively talking his way into bedding whatever woman strikes his fancy and/or stealing riches from whichever evildoers he’s been fighting. Argoman is often on the right side of the law but, true to anti-hero tradition, he isn’t afraid to bend or break the law if it involves personal gratification or - enrichment. Where Argoman’s sonar, telekinetic and magnetic powers come from is never explained nor why he loses said abilities after doing the horizontal mambo with any of the many women. Argoman was prescient where the commedia sexy all’italiana was headed was by having Nadia Marlowa stroll down a street in nothing but lingerie, stockings and boots. Almost ten years later Gloria Guida could be seen cavorting around in nearly identical attire in the so-so The Landlord (1976). The retro-future production design inspired by The Giant Of Metropolis (1961) is just icing on a cake already brimming with wall-to-wall insanity. As a bonus it lifts a pivotal plotpoint wholesale from the brilliant The Million Eyes Of Sumuru (1967).

The star of Argoman is Roger Browne, an American actor that lived in Rome from 1960 to 1980. Browne was a fixture in peplum and later seamlessly transitioned into the Eurospy genre. Like any working actor Browne appeared in many different productions, among them, Vulcan, Son Of Jupiter (1962) (with Bella Cortez), Samoa, Queen of the Jungle (1968) (with the delectable duo of Edwige Fenech and Femi Benussi), Emanuelle in America (1977), and Alfonso Brescia’s The War of the Robots (1978). Dominique Boschero is best described as a lesser Eurocult queen and Nadia Marlowa was a relative nobody. Boschero has credits dating back to 1956 and include such illustrious titles as Secret Agent Fireball (1965), the gialli The Iguana with the Tongue of Fire (1971) from Riccardo Freda and All the Colors of the Dark (1972) (with Edwige Fenech), as well as the Laura Antonelli drama Venial Sin (1974). Mimmo Palmara was a peplum regular that appeared in Hercules (1958), Hercules Unchained (1959), The Trojan Horse (1961) and later in a supporting part in the Gloria Guida comedy That Malicious Age (1975). Eduardo Fajardo was a monument in Spanish cinema even at this point making his appearances in drek as Umberto Lenzi’s pandemic shocker Nightmare City (1980) and in the original Spanish version of Eurociné’s nigh on incoherent shambler Oasis of the Zombies (1982) all the more lamentable.

It seems almost unfathomable that Argoman didn’t in some major way have an impact on director Juan Piquer Simón’s gaudy pastel-colored vistas for Supersonic Man (1979) and the candy-colored excesses that were part and parcel in Luigi Cozzi's amiable StarCrash (1979), Hercules (1983) and The Adventures Of Hercules (1985). It’s the best kind of kitsch. It’s pure camp. Argoman never takes itself seriously (neither should you) and it pushes all the right buttons as a spoof of the Eurospy and superhero genre . Sometimes it’s able to overcome its limitations, budgetary and otherwise, and sometimes not. It goes by the old adage that anything goes as long as there are pretty girls to look at. Dominique Boschero is godly as Jenabell in her crazy costumes and Nadia Marlowa has one scene forever seared onto the retina of cult fans everywhere. Eduardo Fajardo provides the prerequisite comedic note whereas Roger Browne is as wooden as ever. Whatever the case Argoman, the Fantastic Superman is a 60s curiosity that works best as a pastiche of the two genres it pays homage to. It has no reason to work but it somehow does. Argoman is one part Batman (1966-1968) with Adam West and prescient of where Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979-1981) would take science-fiction in the following decade all while pushing camp to whole new levels and remaining strangely enjoyable through out. Too bad it was produced amidst the fumetti craze and remains somewhat of a forgotten gem.

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Plot: Eva, a snake dancer, is hired to perform at a gentlemen’s club in Hong Kong.

There always has been a thin line and a degree of overlap between horror and erotica. Nowhere was that line more blurred and the distinction more nebulous than in continental Europe in the early-to-mid 1970s. Around the Mediterranean countries such as France, Spain and Italy eked out very specific brands of kink-horror with their own distinct visual styles and regional flavours. When it came right to it, though, it were a mere three directors that took up the mantle of merging horror and sleaze. Jean Rollin, Jesús Franco, and Aristide Massaccesi (or Joe D’Amato as he’s internationally known) all worked on the fringes of their respective cinematic industries and frequently strayed into hardcore pornography whenever economic anxiety became too dire. No one extolled the virtue of the female form, preferably disrobed and gyrating, better than they did and each had their muse. Jean Rollin was an exploitation director with arthouse inclinations and aspirations who loved women and pebble beaches and Jesús Franco was a talented director who sadly fell victim to his many neuroses and obsessions upon losing his first muse. Standing in stark contrast to Rollin and Franco was Joe D’Amato. D’Amato was no ordinary smut peddler or base sleaze merchant. He was an extraordinary smut peddler with an undeniable talent for knowing what audiences wanted. He could’ve been just another workhorse exploitation director on the circuit. Instead he transformed himself into Italy’s first and foremost base sleaze merchant anoiting himself the grandmaster purveyor of perversity par excellence.

Towards the second half of the decade D’Amato was still churning out pulp of every possible stripe and variety. He had directed Rosalba Neri in the unforgettable intro segment to The Devil’s Wedding Night (1973) and directed his first giallo with Death Smiled at Murder (1973). Like any good exploitation director D’Amato was a fiendish and devious opportunist whenever it served his interests. Not only did he steal Black Emanuelle (1975) right from under Adalberto "Bitto" Albertini but he took his two principal actors (everybody’s favourite couple of Laura Gemser and Gabriele Tinti) with him. To make matters worse for Albertini not only did D’Amato spun off his own little franchise but he made decent money doing so. Eva Nera (or Black Eva, for some reason released as Black Cobra Woman in the English-speaking world) was filmed between the disastrous Venezuelan-Italian co-production A Beach Called Desire (1976) and Brunello Rondi’s Black Velvet (1976) while for D’Amato it landed in between Emanuelle in Bangkok (1976) and Emanuelle in America (1977). One supposes that after doing Sister Emanuelle (1975) and Emanuelle in Bangkok (1976) back-to-back that D’Amato wanted to stretch his legs a bit, creatively. However, let it be known that he can never be accused of not completely milking an idea while it was still profitable.

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Gabriele Tinti and Laura Gemser with director Joe D'Amato on the set of Eva Nera

Black Cobra Woman not only has Gemser and Tinti but also D’Amato warm bodies Michele Starck, Ziggy Zanger, and Koike Mahoco (who, judging by her name, was Japanese). Starck had been in Autopsy (1975) and Salon Kitty (1976). Her highest-profile role was probably in the Bud Spencer comedy Charleston (1977). Zanger was in Black Velvet (1976) and the Bruno Mattei sex comedy Cousin, My Love! (1976). Mahoco was another D’Amato regular that would figure in Emanuelle in Bangkok (1976) and Emanuelle in America (1977) and much earlier in The Snake God (1970) (with Nadia Cassini). American actor Jack Palance was in the country for the Bruno Corbucci Nico Giraldi action comedy The Cop in Blue Jeans (1976). Black Cobra Woman was willed into existence and seems to exist for no other reason than to showcase goddess Gemser naked as early and often as humanly possible. And who in the right mind could fault anyone for that? Produced by Alexander Hacohen and an uncredited Harry Alan Towers (yes, him) and written, directed, and photographed by D’Amato; Black Cobra Woman is the perfect pulp storm considering it was edited by that other enfant terrible (and future king of the cheap knock-off) of Italian shlock, Bruno Mattei. At best something of a curio Black Cobra Woman covers most of the same territory as those early Black Emanuelle (1975) sequels, does quite a lot with very little and its accompanying posters, dare answer the rather pointy question of, “how much snake can one woman take?” As far as erotic potboilers go you could fare far worse.

Eva (Laura Gemser) is hired to perform her famous “Dance of the Cobra” at a prestigious gentlemen’s club in Hong Kong. Always one to turn heads on the plane over she catches the eye of young playboy businessman Julius Carmichael (Gabriele Tinti) and she promptly invites him as a guest to her inaugural performance. Once in Hong Kong Eva goes on a dinner date with her girlfriend (Koike Mahoco). On the evening of her show Julius arrives in company of his older brother Judas (Jack Palance) who’s instantly smitten with the dark-eyed, raven-haired beauty. He uses his high society connections to obtain Eva’s phone number and invites her to an opulent dinner. The older Carmichael made his fortune breeding snakes and as a herpetoculturist he has an impressive collection of snakes, thus enough of a pretext to invite Eva to come see it. He has no physical interest in scantily clad, carnally insatiable, sexually omnivorous Eva in his old age, but instead he offers the Javan dancer patronage (including her own room, car, and bank account) and protective shelter from the aggressive advances of an especially abusive Chinese businessman. To celebrate his return Judas has organized a lavish party where Candy (Ziggy Zanger, as Sigrid Zanger) and her boyfriend offer Eva a threesome, but an incensed Julius prematurely stops it before it begins.

Sometime later Eva secretly embarks on a steamy affair with Julius’ friend Gerri (Michele Starck). Upon returning home Eva discovers that Candy was killed by a black mamba snake from Judas’ expansive collection. What she doesn’t know is that Julius staged the escape envious of her affection for (and attraction to) Gerri. Things turn complicated when Judas is expected to attend the annual Zoology Congress and he leaves his snakes in the care of Eva. Not able to bear the thought of sharing Eva with his younger brother (or anybody else, for that matter) Judas broods on a plan to get rid of his competitors. When Judas and Julius both announce that they have business obligations outside of Hong Kong Eva senses that something is afoot. Julius, as much of a snake as the venomous specimens his brother collects, has his eye on Judas’ considerable fortune and will stop at nothing to inherit it. While Eva and Gerri continue to their passionate affair Julius arranges for one of Judas’ snakes to kill Gerri so that he can have Eva all to himself. Having survived the attack and with no more women to distract her Eva deducts that Julius is behind the deaths of her previous lovers. With jealousy, betrayal and tensions - sexual, interpersonal and otherwise - running high between all parties, the love rectangle soon turns sour with deadly consequences for most involved when Eva introduces Julius to "The Rites of the Serpent" or an ancient custom for punishing liars and murderers by "putting the devil into a man."

Steaming up every scene she’s in is Black Emanuelle herself, Laura Gemser. Sure, there were others. Zeudi Araya and Me Me Lai are the first to come to mind but Gemser outlasted them all in terms of sheer visility and cinematic longevity. Here Gemser once again plays the only character she was ever hired for: the swarthy seductress that enchants everybody she comes in contact with. Like Edwige Fenech and Gloria Guida, Gemser would be getting naked in front of the camera during the second half of the 1970s and the entirety of the 1980s. Black Cobra Woman was one of five features that goddess Gemser would star in in 1976 and she would star in 6 the next year. D’Amato is wise enough to give la Laura a lot to do, most of which consists of cavorting around in the nude (with or without any snakes), frolicking around in various locales, and there’s an absolute dearth of dialogue and even less in terms of clothes. There’s acres of skin to be had and goddess Gemser gets to engage in lesbian histrionics with whatever actress happens to be within arm’s reach. Gemser, uninhibited in her nakedness, willingly indulges D’Amato’s every whim. This being a chintzy softcore romp Joe D’Amato shoots Gemser from a multitude of flattering angles, often with very little in the way of clothing. The snake dance sequences are photographed beautifully but no one was doubting D’Amato after seeing that The Devil’s Wedding Night (1973) opening scene where Rosalba Neri emerged nude from the fog-shrouded tomb. Michele Starck spents much of her time naked, but not nearly as much as Gemser. None of which really means that Black Cobra Woman is very inspired, or good for that matter.

Black Cobra Woman serves largely as a preamble to get Laura Gemser naked at every possible opportunity. It’s also a rather flat and uninspired precursor to D’Amato's in every way superior deluge of softcore – things like Eleven Days Eleven Nights (1987) and Top Model (1988) to name the most prominent – during the 1980s. In the grand scheme of things Black Cobra Woman is but a blip on the radar. It’s solid enough from a technical standpoint, but that’s faint praise indeed. The natural beauty of Hong Kong is seldom exploited or properly captured on camera. The entire thing isn’t helped by the dreary editing from Bruno Mattei. On the plus side, Joe D’Amato was to keep Gemser (and his assorted stock company players) busy through the rest of the following year with Emanuelle Around the World (1977) and Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals (1977). For one reason or another Black Eva was never explored further in any sequels. Not that continuity, or main characters dying, ever stopped old Joe from milking what potentially could have been a parallell franchise. Imagine Laura Gemser starring alternatively in Black Eva and Black Emanuelle (1975) sequels. The world may never know what those would’ve looked like… and maybe that’s not a bad thing per se.