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Plot: three friends order custom-built robot girlfriends. Hilarity ensues!

For the last quarter century Hong Kong producer, director, screenwriter, and actor Jing Wong has been a force to be reckoned with. His natural affinity in catering to audience tastes and his eye for female beauty made him one of the consistently profitable cinema industry powers. Since starting out in the early-to-mid eighties Wong has capitalized on every fad, movement, and big budget Hollywood movie of note and gave them his own unique Hong Kong spin. He launched the careers of Chow Yun-Fat, Jet Li, Andy Lau, and Stephen Chow. In the eighties and nineties he introduced Chingmy Yau Suk-Ching, Joey Wong, Sharla Cheung Man, Brigitte Lin, and Valerie Chow to the world. In more recent times he has worked with Maggie Q, Jennifer Tse Ting-Ting, and Candy Yuen Ka-Man. Towards the close of the nineties Wong’s features have been slumming at the domestic box office and he has since focused on the Mainland China market. Ever the crowd-pleaser Jing Wong returns his old stomping ground of the broad comedy, and as such iGirl (夢情人) is both boorish and sentimental in equal measure.

Never shy about capitalizing about an ongoing cinematic trend Wong uses the 2005 six-volume manga 絶対彼氏 or Zettai Kareshi (or Absolute Boyfriend) from Yuu Watase as the basis for iGirl. iGirl, of course, being his broad comedy take on the ongoing, decade-long (and counting) Mainland China cyborg girlfriend craze following the release of Jae-young Kwak’s seminal My Girlfriend Is A Cyborg (2008) with Haruka Ayase and Hirokazu Kore’eda’s humanist fairytale Air Doll (2009) with Bae Doo-na. iGirl is built from the I’m Your Birthday Cake (1996) template in that it mixes romance with broad comedy. The slapstick never gets quite as odious as some of Wong’s more irritatingly juvenile comedies, and it’s certainly a lot better of what passes for comedy in Mainland China, but that doesn’t change that iGirl is pretty terrible at times. The star, and much of the focal point, of iGirl is Chrissie Chau Sau-Na (周秀娜). Chau has worked her way up from the dregs of Mainland China cinema and iGirl was the first sign her career was finally moving forward. Whether or not she’ll become the new Jing Wong muse is up for debate, but it’s good seeing Chrissie in something that isn’t monitored by the Film Bureau for once. Chrissie is a decent enough actress, she cuts a dashing figure (something of which Wong is acutely aware) – but many of her movies rarely played up to her strenghts. This was sweet Chrissie’s first truly big break.

Lin Xiao-Feng (Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin), Johnny (Dominic Ho Hou-Man), and Zhu Yun (Lam Tze-Chung) are lifelong friends that continue to live in a state of arrested adolescence. One night the three go out clubbing and find themselves dumped by their respective girlfriends. The three drink and dance the night away to forget about their current amorous predicament. Lin Xiao-Feng (Evan in some versions), the most upwardly mobile of the trio, in his drunken stupor orders his dreamgirl from a site called “Get Your Dream iGirl” by typing in a few meager criteria. Believing the enterprise to be a practical joke he’s surprised when his order is shipped and delivered overnight. After following the instructions of the iGirl manual his new companion 001 (Chrissie Chau Sau-Na) comes to life. Johnny and Zhu Yun (Irwin in some versions) are astonished by the functionality, adaptability, and compatibility of Evan’s cybernetic companion and immediately see the possibilities. The two order their own iGirl and before long 002 (Connie Man Hoi-Ling) and 003 (Joyce Cheng Yan-Yi) complete the trio’s social circle. With their new cyborg girlfriends at their side the three men have the time of their life, much to the chagrin of their former girlfriends. Janice (Jeana Ho Pui-Yu), Chili (Iris Chung Choi-Hei), and Rebecca (Yam Giu) break into the iGirl laboratory, nearly killing iGirl creator Dr. Intelligent (Anders Nelsson) in the process, kidnapping their ex-boyfriends, and vowing to exact their revenge on the iGirls.

Director Kam Ka-Wai assistant directed under Wilson Yip Wai-Shun on Ip Man (2008) and under Marco Mak Chi-Sin on Naked Soldier (2012). It’s never a question of whether Kam Ka-Wai is competent enough to helm a production of this kind. If anything iGirl is hampered by Jing Wong’s retrograde writing. It could have been a lot worse, certainly, but that doesn’t excuse the lazy writing in the slightest. Most of the cast all worked with Jing Wong on prior occassions. Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin worked with Wong as far back as the lamentable Future Cops (1993) with Chingmy Yau Suk-Ching and the original Young and Dangerous (1995). Chrissie Chau is known around these parts for her triple role in the low-key and occassionally atmospheric Lift to Hell (2013). Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin and Chau shared the screen in Break Up 100 (2014) whereas Dominic Ho and Connie Man were paired up earlier in The Gigolo 2 (2016). Chrissie Chau Sau-Na, and Iris Chung Choi-Hei worked together earlier on Mr. and Mrs. Player (2013). Had this been released in the eighties or nineties Wong would probably have played Lam Tze-Chung’s role himself. The sole action scene in the third act was choreographed by Jack Wong Wai-Leung and his two decades of experience are clearly visible on screen. Comedy and action after all have been Wong’s trusted allies since he started out in the mid-1980s. If there’s ever going to be a fourth Naked installment we wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if it ends up starring Chrissie Chau Sau-Na. The Naked franchise has been insteady decline since Naked Weapon (2002) and she might just be what is needed to restore the series to its former Naked Killer (1992) glory.

Mainland China comedies are hit-or-miss, and romantic comedies even moreso. The ascent of the Film Bureau and production companies as Q1Q2 have spawned a swamp of comedies that are either irritating in their reliance on slapstick, cheap beyond description, or plain lacking in any sort of talent – or a combination of all three. iGirl is good enough for what it is but it never had any artistic aspirations as, say, Suddenly Seventeen (2016) with Ni Ni. Neither, for that matter, does it lower itself to the slapstick absurdities of Fetching Nurses (2018). Chrissie Chau Sau-Na conforms to the beauty ideal of every Jing girl following that of his one-time mistress and longtime muse Chingmy Yau Suk-Ching and it’s telling that only she has an isolated nude scene (optically fogged out in the domesic cut for all the obvious reasons). At times it feels as if Connie Man Hoi-Ling is but a placeholder for Candy Yuen Ka-Man. The casting of plus-size Joyce Cheng Yan-Yi is good in that it sets the stage for the casting of rounder girls as, Yang Ke (杨可) and Zhu Ke Er (朱可儿) in Wong productions. Yan-Yi’s father is Adam Cheng Siu-Chow (鄭少秋) from Tsui Hark’s Zu: The Warriors from the Magic Mountain (1983). iGirl obviously gets the most mileage out of Chau Sau-Na and Hoi-Ling and at no point does Yan-Yi get traded in for a slimmer model. It’s probably a matter of time before we’ll see Mavis Pan Shuang-Shuang (潘霜霜), Frieda Hu Meng-Yuan (胡梦媛), and the considerably more A-list Ada Liu Yan (柳岩), turn up in a Jing Wong production. Equal but opposite maybe one day we’ll see Pan Chun Chun (潘春春) in a Sino comedy or action feature that actually knows what to do with her.

There’s something inherently funny about Chrissie Chau Sau-Na, an actress frequently lambasted for her robotic acting, playing a robot. Chrissie’s far better than people are willing to give her credit for. The truth is if you were to accuse anyone of stilted and minimalist non-acting Miki Zhang Yi-Gui (张已桂) is the actress to look for. Not that Chrissie’s one of the great new Chinese actresses. Betty Sun Li and Ni Ni, to name but two, are way more versatile and talented than Chrissie will ever be. The problem that Chrissie, and many Chinese actresses like her, has is that she’s only fluent in Cantonese and Mandarin. On her social media Chrissie can be seen posting in English from time to time but her usage of it is rare enough to make it an outlier. Unlike Fan Bingbing, Yu Nan, or Ni Ni, few commandeer the language well enough to appeal to Western audiences and most only are fluent in their national languages. Elder stateswoman Gong Li famously rejected a Hollywood career because she didn’t command the language well enough, as did Chiaki Kuriyama (who’s Japanese, but the point stands). Unfortunately the same rings true for South Korean television actresses as Shin Min-a (신민아), Ko Sung-hee (고성희), and Chae Soo-bin (채수빈) who should have pierced the Western cultural landscape by now, but somehow haven’t. In times of globalism China and the Koreas remain staunchly isolationist. In any case iGirl has elevated Chrissie Chau Sau-Na to the mainstream and Master Z: Ip Man Legacy (2018) from director Yuen Wo-Ping is probably her most prestigious project yet. Not too bad of an career advancement for a girl that spent a decade or so in the dregs of Chinese cinema.

The other retroactively famous star was the late Yam Giu (Xiong Hua-Hua, Zhiyi Ren, or Ren Jiao, depending on your preference) who passed away on October 16, 2017 after falling (under dubious circumstances) from the 13th floor balcony of the Howard Johnson All Suites hotel in Suzhou, Jiangsu Province. At the time Yam Giu (who sort of looked like, but is not, Angelababy) was staying at a different hotel and merely visiting her actor-friend Yang Xuwen who was in the city for filming. Yam Giu had been romantically linked with Yang Xuwen and was visiting the city with her mother. On the morning of October 16 her nude body was discovered on the hotel lawn and immediately led to widespread speculation about the circumstances surrounding her passing. Everything from alcoholism to suicidal depression was mentioned in the tabloid press, yet as of 2017 no clear cause of death was determined. One of the last productions that Yam Giu was involved with was the Fang Mo horror-action trilogy Hello, Mr. Vampire (2016), Hello, Ms. Vampire (2016) and Beauty in the Doomsday (2017). Perhaps Yam Giu could have been a Chinese superstar, perhaps not. Just like Iberian cult queen Soledad Miranda in 1970 Yam Giu was cut down in her prime.

After the controversial The Gigolo (2015) and its 2016 sequel iGirl seems incredibly restrained in comparison. Connie Man Hoi-Ling and Iris Chung Choi-Hei both are allowed to keep their clothes on. For the majority of the feature Hoi-Ling wears a deeply cut red dress while Chrissie Chau Sau-Na has the most diverse wardrobe and Joyce Cheng Yan-Yi the exact opposite. The Jing girls are as gorgeous as they’ve ever been and the grandmaster hasn’t lost his eye for spotting promising female talent. iGirl is one of Wong’s better romantic comedies in the post-Chingmy Yau age and it’s good seeing reliable second-tiers as Chrissie Chau Sau-Na in a leading role. Granted, iGirl doesn’t give her a whole lot to work with, but that’s hardly a fault of her own. To go from Lift to Hell (2013) and The Extreme Fox (2013) to this must be called progress. That she won the Hong Kong Film Award for Best Actress for her film 29+1 (2017) a year later was indicative that her career was at long last going places. Chau Sau-Na should probably do another Kick Ass Girls (2013) or full-blown Girls with Guns action movie, whether it’s in Hong Kong or Mainland China. Obviously iGirl isn’t the new Jing Wong comedy classic. The writing’s immensely retrograde and the comedy seldom hits the mark. All things considered iGirl is more than decent enough for what it is. In the wildly divergent and fluctuating robot girfriend subgenre; you could do far, far worse than this…

Plot: masseuses by day, sexy government spies by night. It’s party time!

Filipino exploitation is alive and well. The old Charlie's Angels (1976-1981) recipe remains as popular and fertile as ever. Extra Service is both a straightforward action-comedy on the Charlie's Angels (1976-1981) (itself reimagined for the modern audiences in 2000 and most recently in 2019) model and a spoof of the spy-action genre in the vein of the amiable but ultimately futile D.E.B.S. (2004). Star Cinema went all out on this one attracting some of the most beautiful people in front of the camera and some of the best up-and-coming talent behind it. Savaged by critics and audience alike Extra Service has garnered a reputation as some of the worst Filipino cinema has wrought in recent years. This is the sort of thing that will make you long for the inoffensive vanilla exploitation that Mainland China has become a specialist in. Ostensibly described as a sexy action-comedy Extra Service effortlessly fails at all three

Apparently one of the tent pole releases for ABS-CBN Film Productions and their family-oriented subsidiary Star Cinema Extra Service comes brimming with young talent. The men behind Extra Service are Chris Martinez and Ronald Allan Habon. Martinez was the director of Kimmy Dora and the Kyemeng Prequel (2013) and Habon was the writer of The Super Parental Guardians (2016) or the highest-grossing domestic production in recent history. Starring Kapamilya sex bombs Jessy Mendiola (sometime Barbie Girl, fashion icon and FHM’s sexiest woman in the Philippines in 2016), Arci Muñoz and Coleen Garcia (each color-coded for your convenience) and for all female patrons there are Pinoy heartthrobs Enzo Pineda, Vin Abrenica and Ejay Falcon (most, if not all, take their shirt off at least once) Extra Service sports candy-colored production design redolent of the prime works of Luigi Cozzi and DOA: Dead or Alive (2006) and some of the most breast-centric costumes this side of Mainland China actioner Ameera (2014). Obviously aimed at the teen set and custodian to some of the most criminally unfunny comedy in recent years Extra Service is not only marred by bad action direction and laughable fight choreography, it features some of the worst CGI and visual effects that makes the average Sino webmovie look expensive. As such Extra Service is the complete antithesis of BuyBust (2018) and Maria (2019).

Aurora or Aw (Arci Muñoz), Emerald or Em (Coleen Garcia) and Geneviève or Gee (Jessy Mendiola) are former convicts who were incarcerated for individual crimes and now form a team of professional thieves. Aw has exceptional leadership skills, Em excels at combat and marksmanship and Gee has both the boobs and the brains. In prison they forge a bond with Beverly (Kitkat Bañas, as Kitkat) and her wrecking crew Daphne (Sunshine Teodoro) and Ashley (Star Orjaliza) but are forced to betray her when the government offers them a deal. The girls work as masseuses at the Touch Mahal Spa somewhere in Manila. To Lolly (Tessie Tomas) Aw, Em and Gee are just three fun-loving ditzes. One day the three are servicing mute Larry (Enzo Pineda) who literally hands them his briefs for a high-stakes infiltration mission to obtain a code. Kapitana (or Captain), Henya (or Genius) and Maldita (or Warfreak) spring in action and upon completing the objective they are recruited into the elite national-defense group F.O.T.A. (Filipino Organization of Top Agents) by hard-nosed L (Carmi Martin).

L informs the girls that Don José Mondragon (Jaime Fabregas) has arranged to marry off his son Pacquito (Janus del Prado) to Mari (Kim Molina), the daughter of head of Yakuza Doña Akira Suzumo (Arlene Muhlach). Neither party is particularly pleased with the decision as Mari is an empty-headed fashionista and Pacquito is flamboyantly gay. The marriage will consolidate the power of the Mondragon crime cartel over the Philippines and simultaneously allow the Yakuza access to the islands riches. Aw, Em and Gee are tasked to retrieve the three Perlas Ng Silangan (or the Pearls of the Orient), worth around $1 million each, from as many high-risk locations. The self-professed #SexySquad must infiltrate the high-security Mondragon stag party to obtain the Luzon Blue, enter the Miss Yakisobabe MMA contest (and come out alive) for the Visayas Red and penetrate the Mondragon-Suzumo wedding ceremony for the Mindanao White. Things are further complicated when during a mission sparks fly between Aw and Moises or Moe (Ejay Falcon), Em attracts the attention (and wins the affection) of PNP police officer Carlo (Vin Abrenica) and L’s nephew Larry falls madly in love with Gee – and each of the three lovers have the bad habit of showing up at the most inconvenient of times. F.O.T.A. has lined up the three Julia (Michelle Vito, Alexa Ilacad and Elisse Joson) as new recruits should the team fail. Will #SexySquad be able to overcome their personal hang-ups and complete their most dangerous mission yet?

The humor is puerile and juvenile for the most part, although there are a few things that gave us a good chuckle. First and foremost, the jokes start early with the character names. Say Aw, Em, Gee really quick and you get “OMG!” and the government agency the girls end up working for is called fota (which is really close to pota, or the Tagalog word for bitch). In true Cutie Honey (2004) fashion the girls will scream “it’s party time!” in unison at the start of every mission and the extravagant breast-centric costumes recall Naked Soldier (2012) and Ameera (2014) in equal measure. The Miss Yakisobabe MMA vignette briefly channels Kick Ass Girls (2013) but sadly Gee’s chest never ends up cushioning any blows or give her any advantage, tactical or otherwise. Speaking of which, there’s no equivalent to Frieda Hu Meng-Yuan (胡梦媛) or Pan Chun-Chun (潘春春) but Jessy Mendiola will make you long for Analyn Barro. The running gag involving L and her never-detonating smoke grenade will elicit a smile at first but very quickly wears out its welcome. The usage of phonetic English is ubiquitous in Asian productions – and it’s fittingly terrible here as well. The training mission allows Arci Muñoz to show off her acrobatic skill amidst some pretty awful CGI and it makes you wish she’d be offered a Mission: Impossible or The Expendables sequel. For a sexy comedy Extra Service always remains modest and even Fetching Nurses (麻辣俏護士) (2016) was sexier on average and the action direction was leagues better in Bring Me the Head Of the Machine Gun Woman (2012). If the concluding fashion montage is anything to go by than somewhere deep within Extra Service longs to be a bikini-centric Hawaiian spy-action romp in the tradition of Andy Sidaris. Unfortunately, that’s something Star Cinema would never allow under their general audience banner.

While Extra Service is pretty dire at least there’s the figment of a good idea here. In the hands of an experienced action director this could have been something good. Muñoz, Mendiola and Garcia obviously have chemistry – and it’s a bit sad that it’s wasted on something as vanilla as this. Given that in the half decade since no sequel materialized this is likely to remain a stand-alone feature. Perhaps within another 5 years the Extra Service brand can be reimagined and given the treatment it deserves. The credit montage with Muñoz, Mendiola and Garcia twirling around in their bikinis is worth the price of admission alone. Had this been produced under a different banner and gravitated more towards Naked Killer (1992) rather than Naked Soldier (2012) perhaps than it would be worth anything more than a casual mention. As it stands now its ill reputation isn’t unfounded. While this may never reach My Cousin the Sexologist (2016) levels of direness this should have been so much better than what we got. Regardless of how you might feel about it Extra Service conclusively proves that Filipino exploitation is alive and well. This is an entirely different beast than the exploitation from back in the halcyon days of Cirio H. Santiago, Eddie Romero and Bobby Suarez. Extra Service might not go that extra mile but it’s serviceable enough for what it is.