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Category: transhumanism

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Plot: twins wreak havoc on corrupt governments and corporations.

Neil Breen is, or at least should be, considered the preeminent hack of the 21st century. As the Donald Farmer of low budget fringe cinema and Christian proselytizing he has somehow helmed 4 more features since debuting with Double Down (2005) some thirteen years earlier. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched to expect some, or any kind, of growth from our favorite Las Vegas hobbyist filmmaker within that timeframe. No such thing will be forthcoming. It’s a sad day indeed when Fateful Findings (2013) is to be considered his magnum opus and the gold standard to which all things Breen are to be measured. While all of his previous features could roughly be classified as thrillers Twisted Pair is his first action movie. Or whatever action means in the Breen-verse. You'd almost imagine that Breen saw Dead Ringers (1988). Suffice to say, old Neil is always happy to oblige. Twisted Pair has all the familiar elements and is easily one of Breen’s most incoherent and unhinged offerings thus far. That’s something…

Neil explored the concept of the duality of man once before in I Am Here…. Now (2009) almost a decade earlier, and the idea of diametrically opposite identical twins was too good not to use again. In theory that should mean that Breen should have gotten better because Twisted Pair expands upon something he did earlier. In actuality Twisted Pair – or his Christian interpretation of Dead Ringers (1988) - is just about as sordid as anything and everything else within his modest repertoire. The biggest change is that time around Neil has decided upon a more action-oriented direction. The toy guns from I Am Here…. Now (2009) have been duly replaced by more realistic-looking replicas and there are plenty of explosions. Since this is a Neil Breen production there, of course, was no money for pyrotechnics, or anything of the sort; and these explosions leave no surface – or structural damage, or even debris for that matter. Yep, old Neil has discovered Windows 95 sprites and CGI gunfire. Twisted Pair is all the worse for it. Twisted Pair might not be the first Breen romp to feature technological advancement and artificial intelligence in his godly mission, but it is the first where it’s pivotal to the plot.

At a young age identical twins Cade and Cale Altair (behold Neil's ability to navigate Wikipedia by naming his characters after the brightest star in the constellation of Aquila) are abducted by an alien lifeform calling itself the Supreme Being. The Supreme Being instructs the twins in the ways of The Force and imbues them with god-like abilities and powers. When they have come of age the two are returned to Earth and ordered to fight the forces of evil. Cade (Neil Breen) is succesfull in his missions whereas Cale (Neil Breen) has consistently failed his objectives. The Supreme Being relieves him of his power and releases him on Earth. Cade has a good home and his loving girlfriend Alana (Sara Meritt) while drug-addicted Cale lives in a decaying apartment with his junkie girlfriend Donna (Siohbon Chevy Ebrahimi, as Siohbun Ebrahimi) and metes out his “own form of justice” by kidnapping, torturing, and killing politicians, lawyers, corporate businessmen, and presidents of the banks. Cade works as a special agent for an unspecified government agency and he’s ordered by the director (Denise Bellini) to track and take down the megalomaniacal Cuzzx (Greg Smith Burns, as Gregory Smith Burns). Cuzzx plans on taking over the world by unleashing a corrupt version of programmable virtual reality on mankind.

If the plot of Twisted Pair sounds familiar that’s because it is. It takes the diametrically opposite identical twins of I Am Here…. Now (2009) (where they were played by Joy Senn and Elizabeth Sekora, respectively) and places them in a premise that draws from both Double Down (2005) and Fateful Findings (2013), and that’s not even the only thing. This is, by far, the most self-referential of the current Breen offerings. First there are the twins like in I Am Here…. Now (2009), there’s a man in black dress shoes just like in Fateful Findings (2013), there’s talks of biochemical terrorism just like in Double Down (2005), there’s mention of a Supreme Being just like in I Am Here…. Now (2009), and in one scene Breen can be seen talking to a skull just like in I Am Here…. Now (2009) and Pass Thru (2016). Apropos of nothing there’s a gratuitous reference to E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) that makes no sense whatsoever in the context it appears in, and towards the end scenes from Pass Thru (2016) can be seen in a home theater. Also making a return is Breen’s infamous green screen, and now Neil has discovered CGI. It goes without saying that it all looks terrible. As always, Breen is bestowed with near god-like powers; and as always, there’s a mantra. This time it’s the imminently and infinitely quotable, “I don't need to carry a weapon! I AM the weapon!”

Notably absent are the meandering shots of the Nevada desert, any and all gratuitous implied female nudity, the now-expected stilted seduction scenes, as well as auteur inserted butt shots. Those hoping to catch a glimpse of Sara Meritt, Siohbon Chevy Ebrahimi, or Ada Masters in the buff will be sorely disappointed. There’s not even sideboob in this. The only thing giving Twisted Pair what little production value it has are the locations in and around Nevada State College. You’d imagine that as a successful realtor Breen has access to many locations, but that appears not to be the case. The use of green screen is almost criminal and the visual effects/CGI are so poor that it makes you wonder why old Neil even bothered. The “action” part is laughable, and seems to consist almost exclusively of Neil power-jumping from one location to the next. The editing is as jumbly and choppy as ever; either cutting off too early or too late. Instead of using a body double (or a store mannequin) for the character scenes and inserting close-ups and reaction shots where needed, Breen simply interacts with himself through usage of his trusty (and very fake looking) green screen. For every location he can’t afford there’s a royalty-free green screen or stock photo. It looks exactly as amateurish as it sounds. The same goes for why Neil Breen hasn’t begun shooting in High-Definition or 4/8K yet. If there’s anything to be said about Rene Perez, at least his films consistently look good.

For a filmmaker who has been at it for a decade and a half Neil Breen has shown precious little, if any, growth on either the technical side of things or in terms of writing or production. Twisted Pair is less than half the movie that Fateful Findings (2013) was, and even I Am Here…. Now (2009) was superior from a production standpoint. In the ensuing decade Breen’s productions have somehow gotten worse. His movies have always been spotty from a technical point at very best, but Twisted Pair is Breen at his absolute worst. The lighting is…. dubious, the audio design and quality varies from scene to scene, and where are else are you going to see detective misspelled as “dectective” TWICE IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH. Neil is just as terrible at action as he’s at thrillers, drama and romance – and character studies or whatever it was that Double Down (2005) was supposed to be in the hands of a slightly more sane and competent director.

For one thing, you have to appreciate the tenacity (or ignorance, lack of self-awareness or competence) of a director like Breen. Obviously he’s a man with a dream, or at least a vision. However incoherent or unhinged it might be. He shows no signs of getting better with age, but he’s not giving up either. As always, it’s impossible to tell which demographic this is supposed to appeal to. Neil Breen has carved out a niche for himself, and even if he never rolled cameras on anything again – his cinematic legacy is ensured. Twisted Pair is Neil Breen at his worst… and that’s saying something. As always with the Breen, some viewer discretion may be advised. And the worst part? Twisted Pair is the opening chapter of what is promised to be this epic, multi-episode saga. Yeah, Neil is actually threatening the continuing adventures of Cade Altair. Abandon all hope...

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Plot: not everything is what it seems in an utopian elite community…

Perfect-Lover.com (程序戀人 domestically and Perfect-Lover.com 2036 internationally) is in all likelihood the finest new robot lover feature. Not that things weren’t pointing to such eventuality with South Korea delivering I’m Not A Robot (로봇이 아니야 ) (2017), Are You Human Too? (너도 인간이니) (2018), and My Holo Love (나 홀로 그대) (2020). A decade’s worth of lesser imitations (some charming in their own dim way) hasn’t dulled the resonating power of My Girlfriend Is A Cyborg (2008) and Air Doll (2009) in the slightest. Perfect-Lover.com showcases that once every few years Mainland China produces a piece of cinema that just might take off internationally. That there hasn’t been a US remake of My Girlfriend Is A Cyborg (2008) is, by all means, a good thing as it’s too quirky to appeal to general audiences. Perfect-Lover.com (Perfect Lover hereafter) on the other hand is slick and has enough international cross-market appeal as to function a pilot for a series or to be expanded into a two-hour theatrical feature. Neither is it in any shape or form affiliated with the 2019 Migi Studio-Green Curry/Mango Party casual adult videogame of the same name.

In the past decade Mainland China has greatly contributed to the world of otaku fantasy fulfillment – and not necessarily for the better. The quality of the screenplay is inversely proportional to the bust size of whichever Weibo model or hostess happens to portray the A.I. girlfriend. For every iGirl (2016) there’s a Heavenly Machine Maid (2017) and for every Inflatable Lover (2017) there’s a much better Inflatable Girlfriend (2018). Some are as sentimental and romantic as My Holo Love (2020) and precious few are as well-written as I’m Not A Robot (2017) or Are You Human Too? (2018). It almost goes without saying that the law of diminishing returns is the only constant with these features and no matter which part of My Girlfriend Is A Cyborg (2008) and Air Doll (2008) they are imitating, there’s always someone worse. Seldom are any of these features able to compete with their South Korean counterparts and even rarer are the ones able to stand on equal footing with their original inspirations. Perfect Lover is one such occasion and the new Sino standard for these things.

The year is 2036. Society is organized through big data analysis and the determinant factor for anybody’s lifestyle and class is their personal SCP (Social Credit Points). To obtain a higher SCP and climb the social ladder everyone works to improve their reputation, status, gain, and respect. To allow humanity to continually better themselves AI technology has advanced to such a degree that humans and robots coexist and are virtually impossible to tell apart. Ming (Ming Dao) has a score of 9.0 and as the world’s highest-ranking designer he has constructed Nuremberg, a private community exclusive to 8.0 or higher senior members strictly off-limits for robots of any kind. Chloe (Marina Ye Qing) is a young woman with a 6-point SCP that has spent much of her years in celibacy to obtain impeccable credentials to maximize her upward social mobility. She’s elated when she’s among the select few qualifying for access to the upper social echelons and all the perks that come with it. When Ming was promoted she became an 8-point senior through association and now is expected to enter into Nuremberg. At the welcoming party Ming and his wife Anna (Sarah Bolger) are the power couple and celebrities in their own right. Ming and Chloe engage in a philosophical debate about the merits of celibacy and companionship - but Chloe can’t help but notice that her being single is frowned upon. She surmises that in order to fully integrate she’s expected to have an equally outstanding partner at her side.

For years Chloe has longed for a lover but she never had the time because of her single-minded focus on maximizing her SCP score. Many nights of soul-searching and crying her eyes out pass. In a moment of paralyzing desperation, she decides to log in on perfect-lover.com and customizes a personal cyborg companion with help from tech support (Xu Kai-Cheng). The next day the order is delivered at her studio. Angelo (Marcelo Olguín) is exactly what the site promised he would be and thus is perfect in every conceivable way. Chloe is blissfully happy to have him around and soon the two are inseparable. The one caveat with perfect-lover.com is that buyers are instructed to take an amnesia pill once the transaction is complete. In her euphoria Chloe has forgotten, and she has been invited to the next Nuremberg social engagement. At the party Chloe and Angelo are the center of attention yet Ming is strangely reserved. He finds Chloe’s sudden social upgrade suspicious and lectures her on the strict no-robot policy of the community and the immediate expulsion in which it results. When Angelo comes to Chloe’s defense Ming is not afraid to pull a gun. The two engage in an altercation and in the fracas it becomes clear that Ming has a sordid secret of his own.

The most interesting aspect of Perfect Lover perhaps is its curious mix of Eastern and Western talent behind and in front of the camera. Headlining is prolific television actress Marina Ye Qing (叶青). The most recognizable thing she has done (at least to Western eyes) is a 2016 Sino remake of My Best Friend's Wedding (1997). Then there’s Xu Kai-Cheng in a speaking part. He most recently turned up in the fantasy wuxia The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity (2020). How Sarah Bolger from In America (2002), The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008) and the television series The Tudors (2008-2010) and Once Upon a Time (2012-2015) ended up in Mainland China is anybody’s guess but, as always, she’s solid and reliable. The same goes for Argentinian model/talent scout Marcelo Olguín, and famed Hollywood directors of photography Stuart Bentley and Tom Wilkinson. Olguín commutes frequently between America and China, but for Bolger and the two DPs this looks to have been nothing more than a one-off venture outside of their familiar Anglo-Saxon territories.

In just 20 minutes Perfect Lover examines everything from social order and hierarchy, racial segregation and – profiling, to the advent of artificial intelligence, and the commodification of said technology in the global marketplace, the transactional nature of artificial companionship, as well as mechanized miscegenation, robot ethics and law, and reactionary political minorities that are bound to crop up in light of such social – and technological advancements. It comes as a timely a response to the growing problem of hikikomori (social withdrawal typically afflicting adolescent males initially believed to be a uniquely Japanese phenomenon, as first observed by researcher Yoshimi Kasahara in 1978, and studied more in depth by psychiatrist Tamaki Saito in 1998) and the far more toxic Western variant of the incel.

Call Perfect Lover a modern-day The Creation of the Humanoids (1962), if you will – but as a short feature it is wonderfully literate, graceful in its sophistication, cerebral without becoming overly talky or pretentious, and unafraid to venture headlong into intellectually challenging/stimulating territory. The beauty of Perfect Lover is the degree of nuance in how it treats its various questions and observations. It took what My Girlfriend Is A Cyborg (2008) explored on a personal level and applies it to a much larger societal – and economic framework. Perfect Lover is not afraid to ask big questions and this is probably the closest to a modern-day thematic continuation/expansion upon the foundation of Blade Runner (1982). Perfect Lover understands that the devil is always in the details and it handles them so elegantly and effortlessly. Quite ambitious for an unassuming made-for-streaming short film that you can find, subtitled and all, with a just a few simple clicks on YouTube (or Youku in the homeland).